Anxiety. Body shaking. Heart rushing. Mouth dry.
The reaction to the "need" to do something. Some things just have to be done, like a phone call regarding overdue payments. It was on my mind a lot waiting for the magical 9 o'clock to tick over. But baby had a nap that got interrupted by a knock at the door. Cue more body shaking from the surprise noise.
I view back at the last few months, thanking all that time I took to recover. A month or so ago I asked, for a different issue, if there was an online chat option for those of us too anxious to even pick up the phone. Turns out there are plenty of services like that, thankfully.
Picked up the phone. Put the phone down to go to the toilet. Came out and had a glass of water. Deep breathing. Sprayed on "Christmas Calm" by Kinique Kinesiology. It's a soft smell with a hint of sweetness. It's Christmas everyday when you use this regularly.
Pressed in the number. Hang up. Repeat, several times, as I get navigated around automated instructions, fumbling with information required, replying too slow for the recording. Finally getting through to an operator, for him to inform me that the online processing had actually worked, despite my screen telling me otherwise.
Automation is awesome. Humans to talk to on the other end of the phone are awesome. Thankfully it is now set up and I can anxiety about something else.
I spray more Christmas Calm onto the heart area.
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