Last night's guided meditation had two distinct stories. Part one was bringing awareness to energies held in the body; tensions, shadows, blockages in the muscles and organs, paying special attention to all the parts. Part two was a stroll through the forest and greeting a tree.
Baby played all through the body awareness segment and settled down in the forest segment, and was deeply asleep by the time we were invited to come back to the room. She stayed asleep right up until pack-up time when the noises woke her up.
I missed most of what was said during the first half as the narrative was drowned by the squealing and the chattering. Her exuberant vibrations blocked out where my body was at. In another words, her needs completely took over my own, however trivial. It was only after she calmed down was I able to concentrate on me.
Which is of course what happens. Baby sleeps on me and I don't go to the toilet until she wakes up. The kettle gets boiled numerous times because she needs immediate feed. I'm just starting to allow space for minor upsets in favour of my needs. My needs were especially not honoured when H was rejecting baby and I in favour of his need for solitude, of which is now rectified.
While it is not a necessity just yet during this infant dependency stage, I have been made aware that establishing boundaries between my child and I will be a crucial exercise later.
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