Day 114 - Self-esteem Booster

ahhhh Mariko, how people underestimate you! It makes me a little bit cranky that the typically do not see all that you are. And that is partly your fault madam. You are like that really tall man who gets on the train, and spends the whole journey bent over trying not to hit the roof, he is pretending to be smaller than he is. This is exactly you says spirit. WHY??!!! Stop doing that honey, it's offensive! You are a magnificent being, you are not meant to be a hunch back, you are ... OMG you are MAGNIFICENT, and pretending to be less than that ... smh, it's not making me happy thinking about it, it can't be making you happy living it. So your message is about stepping into your light and being who you know that you really are. In the past, you have played the hunch back so as to not make other people feel ... intimidated? You don't have to worry about that, just because you are HUGE doesn't mean you are scary. On the contrary, you light the way in the scary darkness, you make me feel safe and you make me want to be better. But not when you are hunching over pretending not to be a massive as you are. The good news is, all you need to do is quite literally, stand UP!! xxx

From Yvette Clancy

Readings like this makes me wonder what it would be like to have my self-esteem at 100%.

Day 110 - Market Drive

Feeling the stresses rise this morning I left home and drove off... no destination at first but I did end up at the markets. Said hello to a friend that I knew worked at one of the stalls. Walked around walked around the stalls that were packing up or had already left their spot, so not so crowded. One of the 'rainbow & happiness' stalls still had their card deck on the table and I drew out "Everything is going to be okay." Just what I needed to hear. Eventually ended back at the friend's stall and got myself a bag of lychee and cucumbers to enjoy later.

I did feel much better when i got home.

Day 103 - Chat with a Medium

I had a chat to a medium this morning, mum and the offsprings came through.

Mum told me to go outside 10-15 minutes every day and to wear sunscreen if I'm staying out longer. And also to cut back on the coffee. Piss off mother LMAO!

She also apologised for her behaviour in manipulating me, and also that the last 2 years of her life was not her due to the drugs and headtalk and the pain making her crazy. Funny how the chemo came through initially as 'tequilla', "did she have an alcohol problem" ummm no. They did come in a bottle though.

 Two more babies are on their way. Not entirely surprised they wanted to talk. The next one has ASD challenges and the 3rd is neutral/grounded. Will be chatting to them more privately about how it is also up to the father to want them here too.

Day 93 - Liquid Crystals Reading

I won a competition through Weird and Wonderful for a chance to have my name drawn out of a hat for a choice of modalities. I chose a Liquid Crystals reading and Amy came over today to give me a very detailed reading.

I took notes... and told her that we have to do this again in a few year's time to see where things have shifted. It was very exciting to be able to talk about the other dimensions and beings and levels of existances, coming and going from the 3D to the other planes and back again.

The Liquid Crystals site has a few free sample readings, where you fill your name in as one would a simple numerology calculation. I got this card as my Purpose crystal:

It includes working with creation, manifestation, focus, mental scatter, life purpose, Akashic Records, Extraterrestrial communication, ascension, fears, truths, the Pleidians, the Arcturians, and the Sirians, Thoth, Melchizedek, Kuthumi, and St Germaine

Day 86 - 14/1/16

Heilwerden - Vanilleecke

Sie lieben dieses suse, zarte, milchige, vanillige Gefuhl, das Sie aus Ihrer Kindheit kennen. Gerne erinnern Sie sich an die schonen Stunden des Glucklichseins - an eine Zeit, als die Dinge noch einfach waren. Sie wunschen sich die Unschuld eines Kindes zuruck und suchen das unbeschwerte Glück. 

Vergleichen Sie sich manchmal mit andern, und finden, Sie sind zu verletzlich? Vertrauen Sie darauf, dass Sie genauso sind, wie Sie sein sollen. Sie mussen sich nicht andern, um andern zu gefallen. Sie haben sich noch etwas Kindliches in Ihrem Herzen und Ihren Gefuhlen bewahrt, was viele Menschen schon langst mit rauem Gebaren uberdecken. Denken Sie uber Ihre eigene Person positiv. Glauben Sie an sich. 

Behandeln Sie jemanden, der Sie verletzt hat in einer Weise, dass der Betroffene Ihre Grenzen zu spuren bekommt, sein Verhalten andert und erkennt, was tatsachlich angebracht ist. Entscheiden Sie sich klar dafur, etwas zu tun, statt etwas zu erdulden.
Wenn Sie manchmal nicht mehr wissen, was in Ihnen vor sich geht, dann beginnen Sie doch einfach uber Ihre Gefuhle zu sprechen! Erzahlen Sie einem vertrauenswurdigen Freund, einer Freundin order einem Mitgleid Ihrer Familie, wie Sie sich fuhlen. Wenn Sie sich anvertrauen und uber Ihre Gefuhle reden, werden Sie sich selbst besser verstehen. 

Von wo oder wem kommen gerade liebevolle Impulse auf Sie zu? Fur die sollten Sie offen sein. Ein Entgegenkommen, eine Liebeserklärung oder ein Kompliment, aber auch einfach alles, was Ihre Laune hebt, Sie aufbaut oder tröstet.
  

Nehmen Sie sich Zeit yum susen Nichtstun. Vanille, die Königin der Gewürze, wirkt beruhigend auf die Nerven. Gerade dann, wenn Sie vielen Anforderungen von allen Seiten gerecht werden müssen und der Reizüberflutung in der heutigen Zeit erliegen - sind Vanilleecken gut. Die helle Farbe der Glasur bemächtig sich in diesem Augenblick Ihrer Sinne, im Schlepptau Bilder aus Ihrer Kindheit in unschuldigem Weiß. Eine knackige Schokolade, eine Füllung aus Sahne-Creme und Vanille. Sie sollten sie wirklich versuchen. 

*** 

You will love this sweet, delicate, milky, vanilla feeling you know from your childhood. Of course you remember the spare hours of happiness - at a time when things were still simple. Wish you be back the innocence of a child and are looking for the carefree happiness. 

Do you find yourself sometimes vulnerable when comparing yourself to others? Trust that you are exactly as you should be. You must not change yourself to please others. You do not have something childlike preserved in your heart and your feelings, what many people already long since over cover with rough behavior. Think positive about your own person. Believe in yourself. 

Treat someone who has hurt you in a way that the person gets to trace your limits, changed his behavior and recognize what is actually mounted. Opt clearly for this, rather than to endure something. 

If you sometimes do not know what goes into you in front of him, then you start Just about your feelings to speak! Tell you a trustworthy friend, or a member of your family, how you will feel. If you confide in and talk about your feelings, you will better understand yourself. 

From where or whom just loving impulses come to you? For that you should be open. A concession, a declaration of love or a compliment, but also just about anything your mood lifts, you build or comforting.
  

Take time for sweet idleness. Vanilla, the queen of spices, has a calming effect on the nerves. Especially when you have to be many demands from all sides meet and succumb to the overstimulation at the present time - are vanilla corners well. The bright colour of the glaze possesses  at this moment of your senses, in tow pictures from your childhood in innocent white. A crisp chocolate, a filling of cream and vanilla cream. You should really try.

From Schokoladen-Orakel by Darsho M Willing 

Day 11 of 'I am enough'

Day 82 - New Cards

It was a write-off kind of day, with baby up all night, late start to the morning, and a long nap in the afternoon.

Today I got to LifeLine to give them two boxes of stuff. Even with them out it feels like it hardly made any dint in our abundance of stuff. I'm feeling the privilege. At the shop I bought two dinosaur toys, as inspiration towards the dinosaur project, and also three packs of oracle cards. I was drawn to getting them to have as give-away messages.

The card I drew from one of the decks was - "How to Use These Cards" card. After I finished laughing at it, I decided to glue this one on the inside of the lid of the box these cards are going to live in. I will take it to the women's circle tomorrow to start giving these away. I'm looking forward to the vision board activity as it has been a while since I participated in one.

***
(Drawing "Sexuality" card while sitting here in my underwear is pretty funny also)

Day 74 - Happy New Year

As a happy new year to myself, I started the day putting on the Magnify Your Purpose oil, and used Joy oil as perfume to go out for the morning.

In the haze of recovering from late night and early morning start, this afternoon I opened my first email reminder of the 100 day journal from The Business Bakery. Since I haven't created or thought about goals for this year, the best place to start was to write today's entry.

Speaking of 100, I'm almost there with writing my 100th entry. I have enough posts now to start sorting through the tags and observing my topics. Along with this blog, the dinosaur drawings, and the short stories I'm creating, it's going to be a busy productive year.

I also found this gem posted by Jen Ward, to which I wrote the words on separate pages. Awakeness and baby allowing, I will complete filling out the pages in the next few days.

TECHNIQUE:  

Tap in Your New Year Intentions: Make a list of these words down the right hand of a piece of paper: Joy, Love, Abundance, Freedom, Health, Success, Security, Companionship, Peace, Life and Wholeness. Write down next to each one, what would bring you the greatest amount of each. For example, for joy, it may mean spending more time with your children or being around more animals. It will be different for everyone. After you have all the sentences, Convert them into sentences. Use these sentences as taps and tap them into your psyche. If you need to formulate them, into things you want to manifest, write them like this:  

"I make space in this world for _____________; in all moments"
"I remove all blockages to manifesting ____________; in all moments"
"I stretch my capacity to manifest and accept ____________; in all moments:

Card of the Day:

Polar Bear: "Stand up for yourself and speak your truth respectfully and compassionately, with no attachment to outcome."

 Messages from your Animal Spirit Guides Oracle Cards

Day 68 - 20/12/2015

Enforcing Boundaries

Basil, Thyme, Anise
Equilibrium ~ Clarity of Mind ~ Fertile Imagination

"I seek equilibrium in my thoughts, actions, and practice. Clear thinking shows me the path. My imagination is the key to my future."

Nature's Healing Oracle

It is also in theme with the Force from Star Wars, which H and I have been watching in preparation to go see Episode 7.

Day 61 - Rejection (Question Of)

Serephina, Fiona, Isabella

"A happy change or addition is coming your way."
"Now that you've asked the angels for help, be open to receiving Divine guidance and assistance."
"Yes, the timing is right for this new venture. A happy outcome follows your positive expectations."

Truth is very cleansing, it helps you to know your own feelings and priorities on a deeper level. It allows you to share with others in a deeply honest way. Notice the strong and repetitious impressions that come to you through your thoughts, feelings and visions. Even ideal situations require adjustments as you move forward. Take bold steps, while listening to the wise guidance of your heart as you move forward fearlessly.

Day 57 - Do What Makes You Happy

A few things I read and watched today had a theme of 'do what you love.' There has been plenty of reasons (excuses) as to why I don't do the things I love, and plenty of times when my passions were unstoppable.

My work space became decorated today with dinosaurs, gifted yesterday by a friend who's children have outgrown the toys. Behind the laptop is the art supply, ready for use.

What the Angels Want Me To Know About Today spread:

General theme: Astara - "You deserve the best! Reach for the stars with your dreams and desires, and don't compromise."
Possible block: Serephina - "I am the Angel of Families. A happy change or addition is coming to your family."
How to heal the block: Fiona - "Now that you've asked the angel for help, be open to receiving Divine guidance and assistance. You deserve Heaven's help!"
Probable outcome: Oceana - "Take action. You're in touch with your truth in this situation, and you need to trust your gut and lovingly assert yourself."

Take daily small actions towards the big vision. 

From Message from Your Angels Oracle Cards

Day 56 - Receiving

Baby and I received a carload of pre-loved clothes, books, and toys, as a friend was taking it all to the op-shop, and we got first pickings. Baby now has toys enough to keep at her nan's so she doesn't have to keep taking hers all the time. I have dinosaur references to study and play with. We also received a beautiful handmade quilt that was well-loved first as a play-mat and then as bed cover. Very much appreciating the abundance that was generously shared.

Today's card: Devotion - Nature Spirits

Stop isolating yourself and dwelling on your misery, and go outside. Focus on the beauty, power, and holiness that nature affirms.

From Ask Your Guides Oracle Cards

Day 55 - 7/12/2015

It's a great moment when panic is reassured that there are no further damage. I thought I would be penalised further for not paying the parking fine on time, I was upset that the online payment option was not available yesterday, and the question of am I even heading into the right building and office? The customer service person reassured me that it was okay, agreed with me what a frustrating situation it was.

I also made a call to two friends who listened that I wasn't okay but diverted me to catching up and laughing about a few things.

Today's cards were:
Honey & Coffee

The sweetness of life

Honey was believed by ancient cultures to be the food of the gods. As a medicine, honey is an aid to both internal and external healing. On an emotional level, honey can soothe frayed nerves.
"I open my soul to my own natural sweetness."

The stimulation of life

Coffee is not only a drink that stimulates and satisfies but a medicine with powerful healings. Esoterically coffee represents our desire for stimulation.
"Life excites and delights me."

From Nature's Healing Oracle

Day 54 - 6/12/2015

Spider

Trust the creative spark you're feeling, and express it through writing stories that inspire and enlighten

"You may find yourself easily distracted, either with other's needs for your time and attention or with those negative thoughts and beliefs that are the product of judgements and shame that you were subjected to during childhood. A powerful way to release these habitual and self-limiting thoughts and feelings is to write about them in story form. As you do so, don't hold back anything. Through such a catharsis, you heal those words that had originally wounded you."

Messages from your Animal Spirit Guides Oracle Cards

Friends of authors already know this warning.

What you don't know is of whom you meet that are potential future authors.

Spiders are also dreamweavers, they come with the potential of manifesting your desires. Please do try to appreciate them when they come to you.

Day 53 - Honouring Chaos Beginnings

The plan was for me to go out mid-morning with baby, and H to clean the house. It didn't happen as I had a panic attack and went back to bed instead. Baby had her nap as well and we stayed in bed for over 2 hours. She stirred a few times but went back to sleep quickly with and without my assistance. I got out of bed because my phone was running out of charge.

One of the conversations on Facebook offered me some peppermint tea. I took her up on the offer, kind of, and put peppermint oil on my hands and heart space, and made myself green tea. I also opened the Joy bottle to smell.

To shift my state further, I asked H if he would like pie for lunch. He agreed, and I put the pies in the oven to cook for 50 minutes.

Baby was still asleep.

I asked Earth Magic Oracle Cards what this unsettledness, today and all this week, meant.

Dreamtime/Creation, Childhood/Innocence, Dawn/New Beginnings

Immediately I got CHAOS CHAOS and NEW YEARS. Literally, the end of the year, the child's joy of holidays, all the creating I've been doing recently. Also a reminder that we are still at the beginnings of things, even though we've been in it for a while, with marriage, child, and parenthood.

Their messages were:
* Allow yourself to take risks with self-expression
* The wisdom and faith that you accrued from your life experience are the key to recapturing state of innocence.
* It is time to say farewell to the old and honour the new by releasing any self-imposed constraints or resistance to the truth that you know.