I give baby frozen carrots for teething. It was something a friend mentioned she does with her baby. I also read about frozen towels, keeping teething chew toys in the freezer, teething gel from the pharmacy, and homeopathy drops for gum issues. My baby seem to enjoy the carrots the best.
She also enjoys chewing on the teething gel tube. Although she doesn't like the flavour of the gel itself, she has associated the numbness that comes with the tube. She is not dexterous enough to open the lid so I allow her to play with it.
The frozen carrots allows her to regulate the amount she needs herself. Some days it's just one stick, other days it could go up to 4 sticks before she asks for hugs and boobs.
It shows me that this little person is capable of making her own judgement on how much she needs of the carrots, in comparison to H or I making the judgement on her behalf with the amount and frequency of giving her the gel.
Monday, November 30, 2015
Sunday, November 29, 2015
Weekend Holiday (Brisbane)
H decided it was in his best interest not to make the effort to go home after his work Christmas party. He booked us a hotel room closest to the venue, which was in the City Hall, and made a short holiday out of it. It was an opportunity for both of us to find things we had not seen or done in a familiar and well-traveled environment.
In the morning to cater for his transport needs, I drove him to the station. As I took the bus in when I left, that solved the parking question.
I actually missed the bus I wanted to catch by a few minutes, so instead of waiting in the sun for the next hour, I returned home and put some extra things in the bag. Even with this opportunity I forgot the hotel itinerary and the bank details, that I only remembered halfway there on the train already. However the concierge and H was fine with it and managed to get into the room before H finished work and then for him to pay when the extra key got picked up by him. It was a relief.
Planning worked out as such that a friend could come by at the same time H arrived walking from work. We all hung out together in the room until it was time for her to leave. She brought a Care Bear for baby's early Christmas present and we all had a good time watching her explore this new thing. H got ready for his function, and I left to find food.
King George Square was packed with people there for the lighting of the Christmas Tree. I was more interested in looking for somewhere I had not eaten at or from, so I made my way through the crowds to Queen Street Mall. It was an especially popular Friday night with long queues for many places, I ended up in a Night Owl ordering a toasted sandwich and a coffee, as "I had never been to that particular one before." I headed back towards the hotel thinking to continue baby's nap time peacefully. That of course did not happen as the carols on the loud speaker woke her up and she did not sleep until just before H came back. In the meantime she played on the bed, sometimes with the new bear, sometimes with the ball of yarn I was crocheting from. I found it hilarious how this little person could take up an entire queen-size bed.
H told me how he left the group after just 1 vodka shot, and also feeling anxious about a presentation that he got roped into for next year. I reassured him that it's not happening until next year so don't worry about it. I also recounted how I used to be very nervous about oral exams and was a poor presenter, until I realised that if I could survive a black belt exam, a short speech on a well-researched topic was not such a big deal in comparison. That I enjoy public speaking now because of that realisation. He finally agreed that his black belt exam was grueling but survived in one piece, He was just glad he could be horizontal now instead of in an hour's time.
The headache from the previous day subdued to background issue for the entire day, which made things run more smoothly than I had imagined and was worried about.
Saturday morning we ended up at the hotel's restaurant for a buffet breakfast. We reminisced our honeymoon trip's breakfasts, how delicious they were, except for that one place with ham-flavoured orange juice. We then strolled the mall before anything opened. Window shopping sans crowd.
I had to return back to the room to get my phone, to contact my friend to confirm our brunch at 10am. It was a great pick as H and I had never been to that cafe before. H was starting to get agitated that she was running late, going by the record that she had not arrived on time for her doula appointments earlier in the year. She is moving to Sydney in the new year so it was nice to catch up with her before her move. We also exchanged Skype details so she could see one of her assisted babies grow up on camera, like my dad does when he calls.
We strolled through Myer center and the aircon next. Baby napped on my back and unlike a backpack the weight is not easy to adjust. H had his turn at the display massage chair in the electronic section, and I watched in envy. I had my turn when he offered to put a coin in for a 5 minute paid one when we sat at one and I took baby off onto the couch where she dosed for a few more minutes before the posture got uncomfortable enough to wake her.
For the rest of the afternoon, after the cleaner had left, and I had a shower and baby had a sponge down on the basin, all three of us napped for 3 solid hours. I forgot to mention to please replace the milk we used up so that was the end of having coffee until we got back home. I also dripped blood all over some of the towels which I felt bad about, and got baby's poo on top of it for a nappy change, which erased my guilt. The bath mat got flipped over instead.
One of the popular places I noted the previous night was a dumpling specialty restaurant that had opened while I had not visited the city. Harajuku Gyoza had an obnoxiously friendly and fun atmosphere. One table ordered sake shots and the wait staff encouraged the whole shop to cheer for them. The meal was delicious, baby munched on edamame husks and the black serviettes (which made it look like she ate nori), and fried Nutella and banana gyoza with ice-cream a memorable desert. The kind of place mum would have hated for being loud and immature, both in decor and volume.
We returned to the room for the last time for the day. H discovered the Sound of Music on TV, from the Lonely Goatherd puppetry scene. It was on for the 50th Anniversary special. Watching the movie while commentating on scenes from places we visited in Saltzberg and the tour, as well as the World War II memorials, gave the story a fresh perspective.
Sunday Morning I woke at 6.30 and H woke from my rustlings. Baby on the other hand took much encouraging to wake up, but it also meant we could pack most of the bags before leaving for breakfast. We decided on a place from around the block. Unfortunately a place that was short-staffed and one of two only places open for trading, we got our meals but we had to leave before our drinks arrived. There was no need to add to our frustration of watching other people that arrived after us get served before us. Then it was just a matter of going back to the room to picking up our luggage, checking out, and heading for the station. For some reason the trains were only running once an hour instead of every half-hour, we had McDonalds orange juice as coffee substitute while we waited. It worked out at the other end though as the bus to get home left just as we got on it.
The timing was also great that about an hour later it rained for a little bit, and then storm came at night. Traveling is better in sunny weather than wet.
I finally got the coffee I wanted at night as we got a new bottle of milk for our groceries.
In the morning to cater for his transport needs, I drove him to the station. As I took the bus in when I left, that solved the parking question.
I actually missed the bus I wanted to catch by a few minutes, so instead of waiting in the sun for the next hour, I returned home and put some extra things in the bag. Even with this opportunity I forgot the hotel itinerary and the bank details, that I only remembered halfway there on the train already. However the concierge and H was fine with it and managed to get into the room before H finished work and then for him to pay when the extra key got picked up by him. It was a relief.
Planning worked out as such that a friend could come by at the same time H arrived walking from work. We all hung out together in the room until it was time for her to leave. She brought a Care Bear for baby's early Christmas present and we all had a good time watching her explore this new thing. H got ready for his function, and I left to find food.
King George Square was packed with people there for the lighting of the Christmas Tree. I was more interested in looking for somewhere I had not eaten at or from, so I made my way through the crowds to Queen Street Mall. It was an especially popular Friday night with long queues for many places, I ended up in a Night Owl ordering a toasted sandwich and a coffee, as "I had never been to that particular one before." I headed back towards the hotel thinking to continue baby's nap time peacefully. That of course did not happen as the carols on the loud speaker woke her up and she did not sleep until just before H came back. In the meantime she played on the bed, sometimes with the new bear, sometimes with the ball of yarn I was crocheting from. I found it hilarious how this little person could take up an entire queen-size bed.
H told me how he left the group after just 1 vodka shot, and also feeling anxious about a presentation that he got roped into for next year. I reassured him that it's not happening until next year so don't worry about it. I also recounted how I used to be very nervous about oral exams and was a poor presenter, until I realised that if I could survive a black belt exam, a short speech on a well-researched topic was not such a big deal in comparison. That I enjoy public speaking now because of that realisation. He finally agreed that his black belt exam was grueling but survived in one piece, He was just glad he could be horizontal now instead of in an hour's time.
The headache from the previous day subdued to background issue for the entire day, which made things run more smoothly than I had imagined and was worried about.
Saturday morning we ended up at the hotel's restaurant for a buffet breakfast. We reminisced our honeymoon trip's breakfasts, how delicious they were, except for that one place with ham-flavoured orange juice. We then strolled the mall before anything opened. Window shopping sans crowd.
I had to return back to the room to get my phone, to contact my friend to confirm our brunch at 10am. It was a great pick as H and I had never been to that cafe before. H was starting to get agitated that she was running late, going by the record that she had not arrived on time for her doula appointments earlier in the year. She is moving to Sydney in the new year so it was nice to catch up with her before her move. We also exchanged Skype details so she could see one of her assisted babies grow up on camera, like my dad does when he calls.
We strolled through Myer center and the aircon next. Baby napped on my back and unlike a backpack the weight is not easy to adjust. H had his turn at the display massage chair in the electronic section, and I watched in envy. I had my turn when he offered to put a coin in for a 5 minute paid one when we sat at one and I took baby off onto the couch where she dosed for a few more minutes before the posture got uncomfortable enough to wake her.
For the rest of the afternoon, after the cleaner had left, and I had a shower and baby had a sponge down on the basin, all three of us napped for 3 solid hours. I forgot to mention to please replace the milk we used up so that was the end of having coffee until we got back home. I also dripped blood all over some of the towels which I felt bad about, and got baby's poo on top of it for a nappy change, which erased my guilt. The bath mat got flipped over instead.
One of the popular places I noted the previous night was a dumpling specialty restaurant that had opened while I had not visited the city. Harajuku Gyoza had an obnoxiously friendly and fun atmosphere. One table ordered sake shots and the wait staff encouraged the whole shop to cheer for them. The meal was delicious, baby munched on edamame husks and the black serviettes (which made it look like she ate nori), and fried Nutella and banana gyoza with ice-cream a memorable desert. The kind of place mum would have hated for being loud and immature, both in decor and volume.
We returned to the room for the last time for the day. H discovered the Sound of Music on TV, from the Lonely Goatherd puppetry scene. It was on for the 50th Anniversary special. Watching the movie while commentating on scenes from places we visited in Saltzberg and the tour, as well as the World War II memorials, gave the story a fresh perspective.
Sunday Morning I woke at 6.30 and H woke from my rustlings. Baby on the other hand took much encouraging to wake up, but it also meant we could pack most of the bags before leaving for breakfast. We decided on a place from around the block. Unfortunately a place that was short-staffed and one of two only places open for trading, we got our meals but we had to leave before our drinks arrived. There was no need to add to our frustration of watching other people that arrived after us get served before us. Then it was just a matter of going back to the room to picking up our luggage, checking out, and heading for the station. For some reason the trains were only running once an hour instead of every half-hour, we had McDonalds orange juice as coffee substitute while we waited. It worked out at the other end though as the bus to get home left just as we got on it.
The timing was also great that about an hour later it rained for a little bit, and then storm came at night. Traveling is better in sunny weather than wet.
I finally got the coffee I wanted at night as we got a new bottle of milk for our groceries.
Thursday, November 26, 2015
Day 47 - Expectations Falling Short
Today was full of planning.
It was planned for the Thursday morning parent group, then lunch, then art group, then shopping, then come home.
All of these did happen.
All these I chose to do even though my bleed started this morning,
A day full of socialising, summer heat, and carrying baby for travel (even though only a short walk) and waiting out her nap time.
I came home feeling the consequence of not listening to my body. Even though the plan in my head looked like a very nurturing kind of day.
It was planned for the Thursday morning parent group, then lunch, then art group, then shopping, then come home.
All of these did happen.
All these I chose to do even though my bleed started this morning,
A day full of socialising, summer heat, and carrying baby for travel (even though only a short walk) and waiting out her nap time.
I came home feeling the consequence of not listening to my body. Even though the plan in my head looked like a very nurturing kind of day.
Wednesday, November 25, 2015
Day 46 - Diverting from Global Dramas (With Art, of Course)
I went to bed last night with this thought, as it one of the last things to have read.
I diverted myself to dinosaurs instead. And found myself wanting to do coloured pencil on black paper instead. Experimenting with chalk-like lines.
It was fun the last time I did this was in Photoshop for this one:
Then Facebook stopped working for a while, and disconnected me towards making more things for the afternoon.
Tuesday 24 November 2015In the morning, from the first post onward, I felt the uneasiness from Facebook.
"Not until we are lost do we begin to find ourselves" Thoreau.
Tomorrow's Full Frost Moon in Gemini is a close encounter of the 3rd kind moment. It is broadcasting on multiple radio frequencies, some too etheric to hear, others coming in and our of your awareness like voices from the Tower of Babel. This Moon is speaking in tongues, in visions, in ancient languages you barely remember and in the codes of the far future. With the Sun aligned with Saturn, Mercury, Neptune and Nessus; the Moon with Jupiter and the Node of Fate and Venus on the Uranus/Pluto square, the big question is: what is this entirely new, fluid reality and how can I flow with it, adapt to it and process It?
Some possibilities may be:
Identify your narrow filters, biases and beliefs then make them more porous whilst putting solid ground under your feet allow the flood of rabid polemics, disinformation and orchestrated fear and uncertainty flow round you, not through you re-focus your goals to mirror your deepest values and get serious about the meaning you make of life gather your resources
Grow plants and herbs
Cook
Craft
Repair and mend take time away from 24 hour media propaganda
Smell the roses
Watch a sunset
Quote from Hare in the Moon Astrology
I diverted myself to dinosaurs instead. And found myself wanting to do coloured pencil on black paper instead. Experimenting with chalk-like lines.
It was fun the last time I did this was in Photoshop for this one:
Then Facebook stopped working for a while, and disconnected me towards making more things for the afternoon.
Tuesday, November 24, 2015
Day 45 - Slow Down
Not knowing baby's distress distresses me. The hopelessness of not-knowing. The I-don't-know's of biological technicalities. Unsureness of safety for infant (all the things I use for myself). Google is great for almost-instant answers. Sometimes answers doesn't come quick enough.
But there are always solutions, or at least attempts towards solving it. Recognising that this is the best I can do at the moment.
I found another ant trail entry, which meant I could spray vinegar in two locations and wipe the walls with eucalyptus oil. Coming to acceptance that it will have to do until I can find where the peppermint disappeared to.
I can't fix baby's sweat rash and insect bites, but I can help her cope.
Deciding that today will be a day of caring for us both.
Oddly enough she calmed down, once I calmed down.
I can dance to music with her.
I can read out eft sentences to her.
We can both have a cooling bath later.
It's okay to slow down, not everything is urgent.
But there are always solutions, or at least attempts towards solving it. Recognising that this is the best I can do at the moment.
I found another ant trail entry, which meant I could spray vinegar in two locations and wipe the walls with eucalyptus oil. Coming to acceptance that it will have to do until I can find where the peppermint disappeared to.
I can't fix baby's sweat rash and insect bites, but I can help her cope.
Deciding that today will be a day of caring for us both.
Oddly enough she calmed down, once I calmed down.
I can dance to music with her.
I can read out eft sentences to her.
We can both have a cooling bath later.
It's okay to slow down, not everything is urgent.
Monday, November 23, 2015
Day 44 - Introduction Page (and Appreciation)
Nap times have gotten easier now that I can back-carry baby. Boobing her to sleep has confined me to the couch, although it is sometimes nice to sleep with her. Front carry naps, which is what we do while out, has become increasingly awkward because of her bulk, and limited my movement and the strength to carry larger items (and dropping food crumbs on her head). Back carrying means I can be mobile in many more ways.
During the first nap, once mobile tasks were done, I sat at the laptop to write my introduction. It's more of a backstory than what I said in my first entry.
I tried to condense it and only catch the key points.
I realised that my parents were doing the best they could at that time. There is a quote that goes, "Your time of blaming your parents have expired." I thank them for giving me a fantastic childhood full of great memories and photo opportunities.
I am thankful for the school library for giving me space. It is where I first came across occult literature. I am thankful for my friends during that time. I am thankful for the 'good' education, the kind I can write in my resume alongside my accomplishments.
I am thankful that I kept questioning. I am thankful for all the knowledge and inspiration I've acquired through my studies.
I am thankful for mum's challenges, as growing into her support person (not quite 'carer') has strengthened my character. That I don't have to do things the way she did things, and also I can choose for myself which of her 'things' I want to pass onto my child.
I am thankful that technology has finally caught up with the way I like to communicate (video calling, instant messaging), that it has opened up avenues to have a relationship with dad.
I am thankful for H's contributions, especially that I can be a stay-at-home mum like I had wanted to. That I now have time to reflect all the time and write this blog. That I'm moving towards what I originally left work to do.
I am thankful for the support I am receiving now. Some of these people I met because of a chance meeting, others through introduction, and a few I don't even remember the exact moment of accepting Friend request on Facebook.
I am thankful for this child coming into my life. I am challenged by her challenges and enjoy her enjoyments. Possibly everything every mother has said ever about her child, that doesn't need to be repeated here.
Lastly I am thankful to my readers, that I have received feedback on how much they enjoy reading my posts. Or that they can relate to the latest episode of my dramas. Or that they are inspired by an activity. When I tag people from whom I had been inspired by, they reply with words of encouragement. That people are clicking on the link at all, and I see the statistics rise, which gives me a self-confidence boost.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
During the first nap, once mobile tasks were done, I sat at the laptop to write my introduction. It's more of a backstory than what I said in my first entry.
I tried to condense it and only catch the key points.
I realised that my parents were doing the best they could at that time. There is a quote that goes, "Your time of blaming your parents have expired." I thank them for giving me a fantastic childhood full of great memories and photo opportunities.
I am thankful for the school library for giving me space. It is where I first came across occult literature. I am thankful for my friends during that time. I am thankful for the 'good' education, the kind I can write in my resume alongside my accomplishments.
I am thankful that I kept questioning. I am thankful for all the knowledge and inspiration I've acquired through my studies.
I am thankful for mum's challenges, as growing into her support person (not quite 'carer') has strengthened my character. That I don't have to do things the way she did things, and also I can choose for myself which of her 'things' I want to pass onto my child.
I am thankful that technology has finally caught up with the way I like to communicate (video calling, instant messaging), that it has opened up avenues to have a relationship with dad.
I am thankful for H's contributions, especially that I can be a stay-at-home mum like I had wanted to. That I now have time to reflect all the time and write this blog. That I'm moving towards what I originally left work to do.
I am thankful for the support I am receiving now. Some of these people I met because of a chance meeting, others through introduction, and a few I don't even remember the exact moment of accepting Friend request on Facebook.
I am thankful for this child coming into my life. I am challenged by her challenges and enjoy her enjoyments. Possibly everything every mother has said ever about her child, that doesn't need to be repeated here.
Lastly I am thankful to my readers, that I have received feedback on how much they enjoy reading my posts. Or that they can relate to the latest episode of my dramas. Or that they are inspired by an activity. When I tag people from whom I had been inspired by, they reply with words of encouragement. That people are clicking on the link at all, and I see the statistics rise, which gives me a self-confidence boost.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Sunday, November 22, 2015
Day 43 - Cutting Ties
Party Plan parties are a great opportunity to meet driven people passionate about the brand they've become interested in. They have their reasons, product pitches of new lines and old favourites aside, like flexible hours, adult conversations, feelings of independence etc. It's inspiring to meet consultants and hear their stories.
A friend decided to sign up, and also the host saying she intends to in the new year. That's two more driven people in my immediate circle, doing something towards changing their mindset, attitude, and overall well-being. It's another form of self-care.
Later I overheard a conversation about a mutual friend, someone I cut ties with a few years ago. Hearing a segment of their gossip reminded me why I put up the boundaries, and glad to have done it when I did. It was (and they said it too) like watching a tv drama. I suggested putting an image of a tv screen around the message box. One friend said she goes in to nod and smile mode because there is no conversing with this person, it's their way and the only way and everybody else is wrong wrong wrong. I sometimes feel sad that they were in my life for so long, but today's catch-up reminded me that it was over and it is good.
Saturday, November 21, 2015
Day 42 - Choices
I had several choices for what activity I will be at this afternoon.
Mother in law's birthday celebration for lunch?
A 3-year-old birthday celebration in the park?
Curl up in my anxiety and not leave the house?
First option promised familiarity. However I also mentioned to her why not have a day out with her son, as they have not had an alone time for a while.
Second option promised a fun day out, meeting new people, and expanding the Japanese network I've been wanting for baby and I.
Third option promised me guaranteed coffee and aircon.
My anxiety settled as I said to myself; I will go to the one that serves mine, baby, and their highest good.
I thought I made a mistake when, even arriving at the park earlier, I didn't see any birthday-party or barbecue-like group arriving. I went for a short walk to see if there was another picnic area. I couldn't find it, so I returned. As I didn't have my phone, I thought returning home would be the best option.
It did, but I didn't make it home either. Further up, near the *other* entrance, were two separate parties.
The first one had organised games with older children. It could not be them.
The second group was smaller, and had a few dark-haired people gathered. I cautiously parked, got out, and inconspicuously tried to catch their conversing. It turned out it was them!
I had a good time, baby had a good time, and I think the rest of the people had a great time too.
Now just waiting for H to come home. He must be having a great time too to be out for so long.
Mother in law's birthday celebration for lunch?
A 3-year-old birthday celebration in the park?
Curl up in my anxiety and not leave the house?
First option promised familiarity. However I also mentioned to her why not have a day out with her son, as they have not had an alone time for a while.
Second option promised a fun day out, meeting new people, and expanding the Japanese network I've been wanting for baby and I.
Third option promised me guaranteed coffee and aircon.
My anxiety settled as I said to myself; I will go to the one that serves mine, baby, and their highest good.
I thought I made a mistake when, even arriving at the park earlier, I didn't see any birthday-party or barbecue-like group arriving. I went for a short walk to see if there was another picnic area. I couldn't find it, so I returned. As I didn't have my phone, I thought returning home would be the best option.
It did, but I didn't make it home either. Further up, near the *other* entrance, were two separate parties.
The first one had organised games with older children. It could not be them.
The second group was smaller, and had a few dark-haired people gathered. I cautiously parked, got out, and inconspicuously tried to catch their conversing. It turned out it was them!
I had a good time, baby had a good time, and I think the rest of the people had a great time too.
Now just waiting for H to come home. He must be having a great time too to be out for so long.
Friday, November 20, 2015
Day 41 - Assigning Values
For the dino sketches to be viable, I need to assign value to them. It requires me to convert everything I put into them into money count. Receiving decided amounts will lead to validating of my self-worth and also my works.
The most straightforward one is: what is my hourly value? I have some idea of what my physical labour industry rates were from the nurseries.
What value do I put on my education, both formal and informal, where I learned art?
What value do I put on the extra work, is research time on par with drawing time, or at a different calculation?
Do the characters have an intrinsic value, not necessarily at a time conversion?
Will the value change again once I move away from pen and pencils to computer graphics?
Do I include cost of materials - paper and pen for now, but perhaps later other mediums?
Question I must ask the client is, are the characters a stand-alone or active in a scene? Background details will increase time spent doing them.
I found these tapping from Jen Ward's Jenuine Healing Sharing Circle to be relevant to the topic:
The most straightforward one is: what is my hourly value? I have some idea of what my physical labour industry rates were from the nurseries.
What value do I put on my education, both formal and informal, where I learned art?
What value do I put on the extra work, is research time on par with drawing time, or at a different calculation?
Do the characters have an intrinsic value, not necessarily at a time conversion?
Will the value change again once I move away from pen and pencils to computer graphics?
Do I include cost of materials - paper and pen for now, but perhaps later other mediums?
Question I must ask the client is, are the characters a stand-alone or active in a scene? Background details will increase time spent doing them.
I found these tapping from Jen Ward's Jenuine Healing Sharing Circle to be relevant to the topic:
"I make space in the world for all souls to be loved and validated; in all moments"
"I remove all blockages to all souls being loved and validated; in all moments"
"I stretch the worlds capacity to love and validate all souls; in all moments"
"I make space in the world for ignorance and prejudice to be abolished; in all moments"
"I remove all blockages to ignorance and prejudice being abolished; in all moments"
"I stretch the worlds capacity to abolish ignorance and prejudice; in all moments"
"I make space in the world for all forms of abundance to be as valued as much as money; in all moments"
"I remove all blockages to all forms of abundance being as valued as money; in all moments"
"I stretch the worlds capacity to value all forms of abundance as much as money; in all moments"
"I make space in the world for nature to be loved and cultivated; in all moments"
"I remove all blockages to nature to be loved and cultivated; in all moments"
"I stretch the worlds capacity to love and cultivate Nature; in all moments"
"I make space in the world for ignorance and prejudice to be abolished; in all moments"
Thursday, November 19, 2015
Day 40 - Story Time
Sometimes I do EFT with baby. I read the sentences out loud, just like I would a picture book. Or show her where I am tapping.
Sometimes I read articles out loud from the phone or the computer screen. If I do, I try to keep topics on the lighter side, or relevant like child-rearing.
Today we read a few pages of Louise Hay's You Can Heal Your Life. It's fun to put intonations on quotes like "What we think about ourselves becomes truth for us," "Love is everywhere, and I am loving and lovable," and "We must be willing to begin to learn to love ourselves." It is especially entertaining to read them while gauging her chattering and flailing.
I wonder if I can get some mindfulness picture books in the near future that she can read for herself one day?
Sometimes I read articles out loud from the phone or the computer screen. If I do, I try to keep topics on the lighter side, or relevant like child-rearing.
Today we read a few pages of Louise Hay's You Can Heal Your Life. It's fun to put intonations on quotes like "What we think about ourselves becomes truth for us," "Love is everywhere, and I am loving and lovable," and "We must be willing to begin to learn to love ourselves." It is especially entertaining to read them while gauging her chattering and flailing.
I wonder if I can get some mindfulness picture books in the near future that she can read for herself one day?
Wednesday, November 18, 2015
Day 39 - Maintaining My Vibration
I went to a networking lunch in the city. Even though I left and arrived very early, driving during tired time puts baby to sleep, which is a blessing knowing some babies don't like cars at all. Also leaving early gave me the peace of mind that I could stop to nurse if we needed to, and still arrive on time.
When people started to arrive, it was evident that this month's meeting was going to be a special one with all but one person being a new comer. With introduction, there was artist (me), several writers, and a publishers. The synchronicity was amazing to participate in. Even if it was not so, I enjoyed being around driven and supportive women.
The reason why I went was because Anne Aleckson had posted that she would be speaking. Her topic of raising and then maintaining your vibration resonated with what I've been doing with this blog. It's one thing to intend to change beliefs and attitudes, but it was individual responsibility to then keep maintaining it.
If you approach and interact with people's pure love, you will be meeting yours and their highest good.
Since the visioning of establishing boundaries, it took violent signs to actually set them up. I had door knocked, neighbour drunk-texting me, and H's overenthusiastic affections that I was becoming fearful of.
I saw that it's very easy to blame all these people for not understanding my needs. That they are the ones not respecting me.
But am I respecting myself? Am I denying my own aggressiveness? Am I unintentionally invading other people's personal space?
There are of course examples of where I am not respecting me. That I have aggressive tendencies sometimes. That I take up space all the time.
That when people annoy me, that they are my mirror on areas I can do with improvement, completely accept that I have those personalities inside me, that I can equalise it through my own learnings.
While I work on my self-love, it feels like this sign on the front door is helping with the physical boundaries of the premise:
When people started to arrive, it was evident that this month's meeting was going to be a special one with all but one person being a new comer. With introduction, there was artist (me), several writers, and a publishers. The synchronicity was amazing to participate in. Even if it was not so, I enjoyed being around driven and supportive women.
The reason why I went was because Anne Aleckson had posted that she would be speaking. Her topic of raising and then maintaining your vibration resonated with what I've been doing with this blog. It's one thing to intend to change beliefs and attitudes, but it was individual responsibility to then keep maintaining it.
If you approach and interact with people's pure love, you will be meeting yours and their highest good.
Since the visioning of establishing boundaries, it took violent signs to actually set them up. I had door knocked, neighbour drunk-texting me, and H's overenthusiastic affections that I was becoming fearful of.
I saw that it's very easy to blame all these people for not understanding my needs. That they are the ones not respecting me.
But am I respecting myself? Am I denying my own aggressiveness? Am I unintentionally invading other people's personal space?
There are of course examples of where I am not respecting me. That I have aggressive tendencies sometimes. That I take up space all the time.
That when people annoy me, that they are my mirror on areas I can do with improvement, completely accept that I have those personalities inside me, that I can equalise it through my own learnings.
While I work on my self-love, it feels like this sign on the front door is helping with the physical boundaries of the premise:
Do Not Knock!
It wakes the baby that wakes the mother then becomes cranky and the rest of the family suffers for the entire week.
It wakes the baby that wakes the mother then becomes cranky and the rest of the family suffers for the entire week.
Tuesday, November 17, 2015
Day 38 - Flowers
Somewhere along the endless stream of horrors and atrocities filling up my Facebook news feed, I found myself saying 'no more.'
I searched 'Flowers' and found some pages that only do photos of flowers.
I searched 'Plants' and found information on plants, which I had not actively sought for since leaving the nursery last year.
I searched 'Succulents' and found quirky indoor and outdoor decoration ideas.
Some of these pages are currently active, and were worth Liking them.
I hope to break up the world's bleakness by sharing these photos.
And sometimes it's worth revisiting old paths travelled:
I searched 'Flowers' and found some pages that only do photos of flowers.
I searched 'Plants' and found information on plants, which I had not actively sought for since leaving the nursery last year.
I searched 'Succulents' and found quirky indoor and outdoor decoration ideas.
Some of these pages are currently active, and were worth Liking them.
I hope to break up the world's bleakness by sharing these photos.
And sometimes it's worth revisiting old paths travelled:
Tiergarten, Berlin. Photo by H
Monday, November 16, 2015
Day 37 - Hold On
With news of atrocities, biased opinions, everyone vying for attention on their crisis, I will hold on to this scene. The knowing that it is not futile, that it is not the absolute end.
That maybe the seed of Lorien that people who have been affected carry will find a home ground to grow from.
"I declare myself a surrogate for world peace, in all moments."
Sunday, November 15, 2015
Day 36 - Partner List
This morning Kylie Stretton shared an extract from her book, an event from the time when her first child was a toddler:
FINDING KYLIE BOOK EXTRACT PAGES 30-31:
One hot summer afternoon just after Christmas, we were in the backyard having a barbecue and Kain was splashing around in his toddler pool. I had just found that Happy book I had read three years earlier so I sat beside him and started reading it again from the beginning. Again, it was like a bell went off in my brain, but louder this time and the words jumped off the page: “You become what you hang around.” I looked up at a crowd of twenty of Johnny’s mates standing around swearing their heads off, drinking beer from stubbies and smoking bongs, cooking up snags on the barbie with holey shorts on and no shirts or shoes while music with disgusting lyrics blared from the speakers. Then an image flashed into my mind: I was wearing a long, sparkling red evening gown and my hair and make-up was perfect. I was sitting at an elegant dining table in a beautiful house sipping fine wine at a banquet. I was surprised and had no idea where this image came from. But it was enough to make me stand up, pick up the baby and run inside. I locked us in the bedroom and after I had dried and dressed Kain I sat down with a pen and paper and started writing down everything I wanted my boyfriend to be:
I want him to hold my hand in public.
I want him to listen to me.
I want him to show me affection (not just when he wants sex).
I want him to be my best friend.
I want us to be a team and care for our child together.
I want him to take us out for dinner.
I want him to accept me for who I am.
I want him to want a life with me and make plans for the future.
I want him to believe in me.
I want to feel beautiful.
I want him to love me.
I want him to treasure our son and me.
The list went on and on. Later, I showed Johnny and he laughed in my face saying the only guy I’d find who would do those things would be a gay guy. Then he ripped it to pieces and burnt it. I ran to the bedroom and cried for the rest of the night but later I wrote the list out again and hid it so well even I couldn’t find it later! It didn’t matter though; the words were imprinted in my brain. #FINDINGKYLIEBOOK
I remembered that I showed a similar list to my date one time, after hearing about how this person did it on their first date. That their reaction would be an indication of that date's commitment. Whether the date foresaw a short-term or long-term relationship. And if the date was willing to be those things now. Or that they would run away right then, in which case it wasn't going to last anyway.
The list came about from a relationship section of a few different personal development activities. It came about while I was dating a previous partner. When that relationship ended, I revised the list, and saw that most of it still applied.
But the most important part of these qualities I wanted from him was, that I could not ask someone to do these things for me if I wasn't doing these for myself, That how could I ask him to do these for me without me doing these things for him.
That this list is not a one-off 'job interview' checklist (although works perfectly well for conversation material!), but a lifetime commitment to myself.
Am I kind to myself in public?
Do I listen to what I was saying to myself?
Do I show myself affection?
Am I my best friend?
How committed am I to loving my family?
Do I take me out on meal or coffee dates?
How often do I review future plans?
Do I accept me for who I am?
Do I believe in me?
What do I do to feel beautiful?
Do I love me?
Yes, what a question: "Do I love me?"
*Finding Kylie now out. Purchase it here.
Saturday, November 14, 2015
Day 35 - Listen
Mother used to tell me I need to say more, that conversation takes two people. Whenever I had my silent moment during when she wanted an interaction, she would bring out the ping pong analogy. That when one person serves, the other one returns the ball, and the game keeps going.
So desperate for human contact, it never occurred to her that declining a game is also an option.
To play the game, both parties must know the rules.
For the game to continue, all parties must understand the implications of how the rules apply.
For the game to begin, both parties must actually want to be there, or have an understanding why they may not.
If the goal of the game is to keep returning the ball as long as possible, instead of a table tennis tournament where the goal is to trick the other player into making an error, then those conditions must also be understood.
In the case of my mother, because she spoke so much, it didn't occur that I would prefer not to, or to think about what to say, or be overwhelmed by the magnitude of the question that I didn't know how to reply.
My limited Japanese would often result in her giving me language lessons.
Her quick judgement made me cautious of what I disclosed in the first place.
But sometimes she would interrupt my day-dreaming so she could feel like she had company. And get angry because I missed that she was talking to me.
I learned elsewhere that communication, actually, is mostly listening.
That what is returned isn't voices, but a respectable space for the other person.
And if that means sitting in silence for a while to observe the atmosphere, then it is more mindful than shouting at each other wondering why we are not heard after all that effort.
So desperate for human contact, it never occurred to her that declining a game is also an option.
To play the game, both parties must know the rules.
For the game to continue, all parties must understand the implications of how the rules apply.
For the game to begin, both parties must actually want to be there, or have an understanding why they may not.
If the goal of the game is to keep returning the ball as long as possible, instead of a table tennis tournament where the goal is to trick the other player into making an error, then those conditions must also be understood.
In the case of my mother, because she spoke so much, it didn't occur that I would prefer not to, or to think about what to say, or be overwhelmed by the magnitude of the question that I didn't know how to reply.
My limited Japanese would often result in her giving me language lessons.
Her quick judgement made me cautious of what I disclosed in the first place.
But sometimes she would interrupt my day-dreaming so she could feel like she had company. And get angry because I missed that she was talking to me.
I learned elsewhere that communication, actually, is mostly listening.
That what is returned isn't voices, but a respectable space for the other person.
And if that means sitting in silence for a while to observe the atmosphere, then it is more mindful than shouting at each other wondering why we are not heard after all that effort.
Friday, November 13, 2015
Day 34 - Questions
"However much I work on my internal self, whether that be mindset, gratitude, medication, counselling, coaching... if I don't change my environment and behaviour, the situation will not shift."
- What in my environment can I physically change?
- Who am I allowing into my personal space?
- When can I make time to implement small changes every day?
- What am I allowing in subconsciously and how do I fortify my boundaries?
Thursday, November 12, 2015
Day 33 - A Long Drive
A lot had been on my mind concerning the unfolding of this week's events and was itching to get out of the house.
I went to the perinatal wellness group Peach Tree, then browsed around the shops, then went for a lot of driving.
In between, I attempted many words at how to tell H of what he had been doing to me, swinging between total absence and encroachment. Driving and talking to myself seemed to bring up some answers, and I also went to a town I've never been to before. The more driving I did, more was revealed.
The first drive revealed where H may have picked up his behaviour from. Media has a lot to answer for showing men what is and is not acceptable display of affection.
The second drive revealed what to thank the man for, and all the others invading my personal space.
The third drive took me to my mother-in-law's place, and even though the stay was short, it was nice to have a chat and a laugh. I didn't reveal all that was happening as at that point I was still working on unraveling.
The fourth drive's message was to hold a non-judgmental space for him. It also put baby to sleep which was convenient.
Upon returning home, I opened a circle just for us, where I attempted to get to his heart-space. It took a bit of listening and holding before he opened up to his vulnerability, his fears, and the subsequent rejection he may experience.
It required a gentle reminder that I was giving him undivided attention now.
He told me I had been pushing him away at every advances. The more I rejected him, the more entitled his behaviour became. And my explanations got interpreted as more rejection.
Yes I have been, because what he had been giving me is not what I wanted, nor had the energy to reciprocate.
It turned into a 'shortcut' cycle and desire for instant gratification.
I was finally able to communicate that I wanted quality from him, and did he not also want quality?
He expressed his frustration of how things had to change with baby needs coming first. That hours-on-end romancing was not going to happen any time soon. That is something that has to be worked on and, what our new romancing style will look like, will also take time to blossom.
H finally relaxed into the non-judgement and asked for a well-deserved back and neck massage.
I went to the perinatal wellness group Peach Tree, then browsed around the shops, then went for a lot of driving.
In between, I attempted many words at how to tell H of what he had been doing to me, swinging between total absence and encroachment. Driving and talking to myself seemed to bring up some answers, and I also went to a town I've never been to before. The more driving I did, more was revealed.
The first drive revealed where H may have picked up his behaviour from. Media has a lot to answer for showing men what is and is not acceptable display of affection.
The second drive revealed what to thank the man for, and all the others invading my personal space.
The third drive took me to my mother-in-law's place, and even though the stay was short, it was nice to have a chat and a laugh. I didn't reveal all that was happening as at that point I was still working on unraveling.
The fourth drive's message was to hold a non-judgmental space for him. It also put baby to sleep which was convenient.
Upon returning home, I opened a circle just for us, where I attempted to get to his heart-space. It took a bit of listening and holding before he opened up to his vulnerability, his fears, and the subsequent rejection he may experience.
It required a gentle reminder that I was giving him undivided attention now.
He told me I had been pushing him away at every advances. The more I rejected him, the more entitled his behaviour became. And my explanations got interpreted as more rejection.
Yes I have been, because what he had been giving me is not what I wanted, nor had the energy to reciprocate.
It turned into a 'shortcut' cycle and desire for instant gratification.
I was finally able to communicate that I wanted quality from him, and did he not also want quality?
He expressed his frustration of how things had to change with baby needs coming first. That hours-on-end romancing was not going to happen any time soon. That is something that has to be worked on and, what our new romancing style will look like, will also take time to blossom.
H finally relaxed into the non-judgement and asked for a well-deserved back and neck massage.
Wednesday, November 11, 2015
Day 32 - Ass
Last night I flipped open a notebook to do some calming writing. Outpouring of recent frustrations resulted in this:
As a joke I shared the image with a thread encouraging to write a love letter to oneself. It had a reply that suggested adding "sexy" would make it a bit more positive. I immediately followed through.
The result made me smile so much I ripped the page out and stuck it on the bathroom mirror.
I also received an apology from one of the triggers for his behaviour. It's a small win.
As a joke I shared the image with a thread encouraging to write a love letter to oneself. It had a reply that suggested adding "sexy" would make it a bit more positive. I immediately followed through.
The result made me smile so much I ripped the page out and stuck it on the bathroom mirror.
I also received an apology from one of the triggers for his behaviour. It's a small win.
Tuesday, November 10, 2015
Day 31 - Sleep
It's been a month of recording my self-care journey. Has things improved? I'm not sure. I had a meltdown this morning after having had enough of touching and mis-matched Love Languages between myself and H. It feels unfair that he can be perky anytime he wants and it especially happens when I'm on limited sleep.
With afternoon naps pushing back my night down-time, still buzzing from too many cookies, and despairing at the world, I went to sleep after 1am and baby woke up at 3am. Which woke H up. It took many visualisations to settle the flashbacks that kept reappearing in different shapes. Finally I used the Sleep Meditation app to fall asleep.
One thing this app is efficient at is to relax the body into deep sleep. It's a shock to the system to be woken up before the full rest cycle finishes.
So squirmy baby on one side and squirmy H on the other side was too much physical contact. Baby fully awake I got up to get a drink.
Instead of staying with the baby, H decided to follow me and try seducing me. On top of this, feeling touched out already wasn't going to get me in the mood. Finally, baby started wailing, to discover that she had fallen off the edge of the bed (which would not have happened if he stayed with her in the first place).
He went back to bed and I settled her, and requiring personal space, I placed her with him and I stayed on the couch. Baby wasn't impressed by this. Her crying, my crying, his plea to be left alone (and go to work) cycled all the way to me having a meltdown. He vowed to not touch me again at one point.
After he left I slept... until I woke up just in time to leave to the library for a day out. And then we slept again almost as soon as we got home.
My mood has improved since, though still feeling tender.
Another long night for sure after all that sleeping.
With afternoon naps pushing back my night down-time, still buzzing from too many cookies, and despairing at the world, I went to sleep after 1am and baby woke up at 3am. Which woke H up. It took many visualisations to settle the flashbacks that kept reappearing in different shapes. Finally I used the Sleep Meditation app to fall asleep.
One thing this app is efficient at is to relax the body into deep sleep. It's a shock to the system to be woken up before the full rest cycle finishes.
So squirmy baby on one side and squirmy H on the other side was too much physical contact. Baby fully awake I got up to get a drink.
Instead of staying with the baby, H decided to follow me and try seducing me. On top of this, feeling touched out already wasn't going to get me in the mood. Finally, baby started wailing, to discover that she had fallen off the edge of the bed (which would not have happened if he stayed with her in the first place).
He went back to bed and I settled her, and requiring personal space, I placed her with him and I stayed on the couch. Baby wasn't impressed by this. Her crying, my crying, his plea to be left alone (and go to work) cycled all the way to me having a meltdown. He vowed to not touch me again at one point.
After he left I slept... until I woke up just in time to leave to the library for a day out. And then we slept again almost as soon as we got home.
My mood has improved since, though still feeling tender.
Another long night for sure after all that sleeping.
Monday, November 9, 2015
Day 30 - More Laughing
Today was a yucky day in my head. I even lay in bed doing nothing for a while.
I already know one of my triggers. Folding laundry seem to be a voice aggravator.
I ate a lot of cookies today. That finishing one immediately made me feel low, so logically, I had another, wondering why I wasn't feeling great like I had assumed I would.
"Have a cookie, it'll make you feel better."
No more cookies for me.
Even in my 'mean girl' state baby managed to amuse me. In her moments I would cheer, squeak, and laugh with her.
I laughed as she tipped her food on the floor.
I laughed as she waved and chewed on the clean washing.
I clapped with her. It's been a joy to join in since she discovered this skill 2 weeks ago.
I laughed at her enthusiasm, and my laughing increased it some more.
We had a nap in the afternoon and continued the rest of the folding later. For part two I turned the music on and kept it on well after the task was done.
I already know one of my triggers. Folding laundry seem to be a voice aggravator.
I ate a lot of cookies today. That finishing one immediately made me feel low, so logically, I had another, wondering why I wasn't feeling great like I had assumed I would.
"Have a cookie, it'll make you feel better."
No more cookies for me.
Even in my 'mean girl' state baby managed to amuse me. In her moments I would cheer, squeak, and laugh with her.
I laughed as she tipped her food on the floor.
I laughed as she waved and chewed on the clean washing.
I clapped with her. It's been a joy to join in since she discovered this skill 2 weeks ago.
I laughed at her enthusiasm, and my laughing increased it some more.
We had a nap in the afternoon and continued the rest of the folding later. For part two I turned the music on and kept it on well after the task was done.
Sunday, November 8, 2015
Day 29 - Time Away
This was the 3rd weekend in a row I left the house without baby. Today's was a hard separation at first, baby in pain wanting lots of cuddles. That she still mainly relies on me for comfort means we are not yet ready to be parted for too long, few hours at most. In this context, putting me first means I have to entirely trust H that he will be ok. Where my trust of him is now has been a complete turn-around from a month ago.
This makes me be efficient at what I can do in this away 'me-time'; which also means cramming in a bit of 'necessities' into this short time frame. I put petrol in the car on the way to the shopping center today, for example.
Once inside the building I'm also aware that I can't browse the entire complex, which makes me be choosy of the shops and isles I dawdle in.
It's like a final relaxation before heading to Coffee Club to sketch a page for the day. This is when I can sit down uninterrupted bar the arrival of the ordered drink. For this I do the inspiration research before I leave home, have the references ready on my phone, and fully commit to the drawing for the day. Spontaneity of creativity, and discipline of research and application of skill, is just slightly displaced.
And I can go home feeling accomplished for the day.
This makes me be efficient at what I can do in this away 'me-time'; which also means cramming in a bit of 'necessities' into this short time frame. I put petrol in the car on the way to the shopping center today, for example.
Once inside the building I'm also aware that I can't browse the entire complex, which makes me be choosy of the shops and isles I dawdle in.
It's like a final relaxation before heading to Coffee Club to sketch a page for the day. This is when I can sit down uninterrupted bar the arrival of the ordered drink. For this I do the inspiration research before I leave home, have the references ready on my phone, and fully commit to the drawing for the day. Spontaneity of creativity, and discipline of research and application of skill, is just slightly displaced.
And I can go home feeling accomplished for the day.
Saturday, November 7, 2015
Day 28 - Headache
Headache slowly increased intensity as the hours went by. I woke up with it, still not entirely recovering from yesterday's interruption. Flashbacks and negative self-talk did their usual things, and I eventually curled up and whimpered in pain and defeat.
Throughout the day, I tried many things:
- Drinking water
- Drinking coffee
- Rescue Remedy
- Massage
- Bath
- Stretching
- Taking magnesium tablets
- Taking painkiller tablets
- Ice pack on my neck
- Attempted nap with baby
- De-armouring visualisation
- EFT
- Sending love and validation to inner 'mean girl'
- St John's Wart tincture
As baby came around to being tired enough for nap attempt #2, I resorted to taking 2nd lot of pain killers. I also applied topically some peppermint essential oil*, on my temples, forehead, back of the neck, and lower back. This time it didn't take long before both of us were asleep.
2 hours later we woke up much rested. Tension subsided from level 8 to 2. I took painkillers round #3, and eft for acceptance.
*Using essential oils with infants is discouraged, please consult an expert if you wish to use it with and for children.
Throughout the day, I tried many things:
- Drinking water
- Drinking coffee
- Rescue Remedy
- Massage
- Bath
- Stretching
- Taking magnesium tablets
- Taking painkiller tablets
- Ice pack on my neck
- Attempted nap with baby
- De-armouring visualisation
- EFT
- Sending love and validation to inner 'mean girl'
- St John's Wart tincture
As baby came around to being tired enough for nap attempt #2, I resorted to taking 2nd lot of pain killers. I also applied topically some peppermint essential oil*, on my temples, forehead, back of the neck, and lower back. This time it didn't take long before both of us were asleep.
2 hours later we woke up much rested. Tension subsided from level 8 to 2. I took painkillers round #3, and eft for acceptance.
*Using essential oils with infants is discouraged, please consult an expert if you wish to use it with and for children.
Friday, November 6, 2015
Day 27 - Nap Interrupted
Even though I say I am ok with night time interruption, I take day nap interruptions very seriously.
I didn't realise how seriously until a door-knocker woke baby and my sleep on the couch.
Even though I was upright, it took all their sales pitch and the 'how would you like to pay?' to realise I was being sold to. They did introduce themselves; I don't remember their names, I remembered the company name and their approximate location.
They asked why I wasn't going to purchase. I said I'll think about it. And I thought about it a lot.
I thought about the interrupted nap.
I thought about what I could have said.
I thought about all the previous door-knockers and various impressions they left.
I thought about letting the company know, and typed out a 'feedback' message. I hoped they do read Facebook messages.
I looked at the clock, counting down until H arrived home.
Baby fell asleep finally after 5, and woke up after 5.30.
I thought about how angry, irritated, and disgruntled I was feeling.
I thought about ways on how I could possibly shift this.
Half-hearted attempts never work long-term.
I laughed at this harder than I should have.
Maybe sleep will make me feel better in the morning.
I didn't realise how seriously until a door-knocker woke baby and my sleep on the couch.
Even though I was upright, it took all their sales pitch and the 'how would you like to pay?' to realise I was being sold to. They did introduce themselves; I don't remember their names, I remembered the company name and their approximate location.
They asked why I wasn't going to purchase. I said I'll think about it. And I thought about it a lot.
I thought about the interrupted nap.
I thought about what I could have said.
I thought about all the previous door-knockers and various impressions they left.
I thought about letting the company know, and typed out a 'feedback' message. I hoped they do read Facebook messages.
I looked at the clock, counting down until H arrived home.
Baby fell asleep finally after 5, and woke up after 5.30.
I thought about how angry, irritated, and disgruntled I was feeling.
I thought about ways on how I could possibly shift this.
Half-hearted attempts never work long-term.
I laughed at this harder than I should have.
Maybe sleep will make me feel better in the morning.
Thursday, November 5, 2015
Day 26 - From Downer to Laughter
Today I was in stress mindset as I reacted with short temper at other drivers around me.
It came back to me within the hour of expressing this frustration in the shape of a parking ticket.
While I had a platform to express this new drama, waiting all afternoon for H to come home and regurgitate was a very long time. I needed a complete state change.
Even though I didn't feel like it, laughing was going to be it. To get the mood going, I searched Laughter Yoga on You Tube, and watched and did some of the exercises with the baby. Even Miss Serious cracked up laughing occasionally as I laughed and gestured and grinned at each other.
Then I found this video, that introduced their name and a diagnosis.
So in this spirit, I encourage you to read this out loud and replace my name and stuff with yours:
"My name is Mariko"
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
"And I got a parking fine!"
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Very good! Very good! Yay!
It came back to me within the hour of expressing this frustration in the shape of a parking ticket.
While I had a platform to express this new drama, waiting all afternoon for H to come home and regurgitate was a very long time. I needed a complete state change.
Even though I didn't feel like it, laughing was going to be it. To get the mood going, I searched Laughter Yoga on You Tube, and watched and did some of the exercises with the baby. Even Miss Serious cracked up laughing occasionally as I laughed and gestured and grinned at each other.
Then I found this video, that introduced their name and a diagnosis.
So in this spirit, I encourage you to read this out loud and replace my name and stuff with yours:
"My name is Mariko"
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
"And I got a parking fine!"
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Very good! Very good! Yay!
Wednesday, November 4, 2015
Day 25 - Minor Disappointment
Having computer graphic's equipment would definitely boost my confidence and the desire to work. As planned on Monday, I ventured to purchase one. As part of this special trip, I organised to visit multiple places that I had been putting off,
I got to Aldi and searched high and low, and in-between the shelves. I read through all the labeled prices, and it did not exist! I concurred defeat and went on with the rest of the tasks. I realised that leaving the store empty-handed did not make things worse; just missed the mark on expectation.
The rest of the day went smoothly. Once I finished with the loading and unloading the baby in all the locations, we headed to the shopping center and enjoyed the aircon. She had her first nap, and when she woke up, I treated myself to a mocha frappachino and we snuggled on the couch, before heading home.
I got to Aldi and searched high and low, and in-between the shelves. I read through all the labeled prices, and it did not exist! I concurred defeat and went on with the rest of the tasks. I realised that leaving the store empty-handed did not make things worse; just missed the mark on expectation.
The rest of the day went smoothly. Once I finished with the loading and unloading the baby in all the locations, we headed to the shopping center and enjoyed the aircon. She had her first nap, and when she woke up, I treated myself to a mocha frappachino and we snuggled on the couch, before heading home.
Tuesday, November 3, 2015
Day 24 - Teen Menarche Rituals
"You are a spiritual teacher: You have the ability to counsel others and help them awaken their spiritual gifts and Divine life mission."
It brings to mind today's conversation with mothers with older daughters; one had her first bleed recently and the other is yet to. It featured the observing of teen embarrassment and the steep learning curve. Much was said about the mother's awkwardness and lack of information to pass on, as it had been a lifetime ago for them when they first bled, and also having grown up in the era where parent input was minimal.
Even though I have yet to experience this part of parenthood, they sought for my advice in regards to teen celebrations.
Just off the top of my head, some gift ideas I've heard from people:
- Flowers
- Jewelry
- Cycle diary
- Special meals
- Hand-made something (I am making a blanket)
- Mother-daughter workshops/retreats
- Heat packs/hot water bottle
- Pads/Tampons/Cup
Of course, it is much encouraged to have ongoing body-positive conversations with your children from their first questions. Let them know when you are menstruating, and discuss products in commercials and the shopping center isles. Remove the layers of shame one by one.
For more information on teens and menstruation, check out A Mighty Girl's list of recommended readings.
Monday, November 2, 2015
Day 23 - Decision
"If you don't make a decision, that's the same thing as deciding that everything shall remain the same."
Receiving a message last night that the person does want to proceed with working with my art definitely concreted my intention to 'draw more,' and 'get to know dinosaurs'.
I also have been made aware that a small tablet is available for purchase at Aldi on Wednesday, that would be an excellent addition to start creating finished images digitally.
Receiving a message last night that the person does want to proceed with working with my art definitely concreted my intention to 'draw more,' and 'get to know dinosaurs'.
I also have been made aware that a small tablet is available for purchase at Aldi on Wednesday, that would be an excellent addition to start creating finished images digitally.
Sunday, November 1, 2015
Day 22 - Make Colours Not War
This morning's adventuring took me to browsing the local mall, one of which was a bookshop. I did my usual rounds of the Arts, Animals, Religion, Humour, Self-care, Parenting. As a means of self-preservation, I turned all the titles indicating sleep training to face the back before I went into rage.
It seems that becoming a parent has made me appreciate quality of sleep over counting hours.
On the way out I took note of the colouring in books. It has become a very popular activity over this year. So vast is their selection they have an entire section dedicated to the publications. They had the 'specialty shelf' of the new publications, in front of the standard shelf. Down the bottom of the section over were some more books that didn't fit.
Colouring in books were invading the Military section.
I smiled that 'mindful colouring' were overtaking war history and weaponry reference.
Perhaps that is the way to world peace, if we all invested more in mindfully adding colour to our lives instead of hurting each other.
It seems that becoming a parent has made me appreciate quality of sleep over counting hours.
On the way out I took note of the colouring in books. It has become a very popular activity over this year. So vast is their selection they have an entire section dedicated to the publications. They had the 'specialty shelf' of the new publications, in front of the standard shelf. Down the bottom of the section over were some more books that didn't fit.
Colouring in books were invading the Military section.
I smiled that 'mindful colouring' were overtaking war history and weaponry reference.
Perhaps that is the way to world peace, if we all invested more in mindfully adding colour to our lives instead of hurting each other.
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