Day 28 - Headache

Headache slowly increased intensity as the hours went by. I woke up with it, still not entirely recovering from yesterday's  interruption. Flashbacks and negative self-talk did their usual things, and I eventually curled up and whimpered in pain and defeat.

Throughout the day, I tried many things:

- Drinking water
- Drinking coffee
- Rescue Remedy
- Massage
- Bath
- Stretching
- Taking magnesium tablets
- Taking painkiller tablets
- Ice pack on my neck
- Attempted nap with baby
- De-armouring visualisation
- EFT
- Sending love and validation to inner 'mean girl'
- St John's Wart tincture

As baby came around to being tired enough for nap attempt #2, I resorted to taking 2nd lot of pain killers. I also applied topically some peppermint essential oil*, on my temples, forehead, back of the neck, and lower back. This time it didn't take long before both of us were asleep.

2 hours later we woke up much rested. Tension subsided from level 8 to 2. I took painkillers round #3, and eft for acceptance.



*Using essential oils with infants is discouraged, please consult an expert if you wish to use it with and for children.

Day 27 - Nap Interrupted

Even though I say I am ok with night time interruption, I take day nap interruptions very seriously.

I didn't realise how seriously until a door-knocker woke baby and my sleep on the couch.

Even though I was upright, it took all their sales pitch and the 'how would you like to pay?' to realise I was being sold to. They did introduce themselves; I don't remember their names, I remembered the company name and their approximate location.

They asked why I wasn't going to purchase. I said I'll think about it. And I thought about it a lot.

I thought about the interrupted nap.

I thought about what I could have said.

I thought about all the previous door-knockers and various impressions they left.

I thought about letting the company know, and typed out a 'feedback' message. I hoped they do read Facebook messages.

I looked at the clock, counting down until H arrived home.

Baby fell asleep finally after 5, and woke up after 5.30.

I thought about how angry, irritated, and disgruntled I was feeling.

I thought about ways on how I could possibly shift this.

Half-hearted attempts never work long-term.

I laughed at this harder than I should have.

Maybe sleep will make me feel better in the morning.

Day 26 - From Downer to Laughter

Today I was in stress mindset as I reacted with short temper at other drivers around me.

It came back to me within the hour of expressing this frustration in the shape of a parking ticket.

While I had a platform to express this new drama, waiting all afternoon for H to come home and regurgitate was a very long time. I needed a complete state change.

Even though I didn't feel like it, laughing was going to be it. To get the mood going, I searched Laughter Yoga on You Tube, and watched and did some of the exercises with the baby. Even Miss Serious cracked up laughing occasionally as I laughed and gestured and grinned at each other.

Then I found this video, that introduced their name and a diagnosis.



So in this spirit, I encourage you to read this out loud and replace my name and stuff with yours:

"My name is Mariko"
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
"And I got a parking fine!"
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Very good! Very good! Yay!

Day 25 - Minor Disappointment

Having computer graphic's equipment would definitely boost my confidence and the desire to work. As planned on Monday, I ventured to purchase one. As part of this special trip, I organised to visit multiple places that I had been putting off,

I got to Aldi and searched high and low, and in-between the shelves. I read through all the labeled prices, and it did not exist! I concurred defeat and went on with the rest of the tasks. I realised that leaving the store empty-handed did not make things worse; just missed the mark on expectation.

The rest of the day went smoothly. Once I finished with the loading and unloading the baby in all the locations, we headed to the shopping center and enjoyed the aircon. She had her first nap, and when she woke up, I treated myself to a mocha frappachino and we snuggled on the couch, before heading home.

Day 24 - Teen Menarche Rituals

"You are a spiritual teacher: You have the ability to counsel others and help them awaken their spiritual gifts and Divine life mission."

It brings to mind today's conversation with mothers with older daughters; one had her first bleed recently and the other is yet to. It featured the observing of teen embarrassment and the steep learning curve. Much was said about the mother's awkwardness and lack of information to pass on, as it had been a lifetime ago for them when they first bled, and also having grown up in the era where parent input was minimal.

Even though I have yet to experience this part of parenthood, they sought for my advice in regards to teen celebrations.

Just off the top of my head, some gift ideas I've heard from people:

- Flowers
- Jewelry
- Cycle diary
- Special meals
- Hand-made something (I am making a blanket)
- Mother-daughter workshops/retreats
- Heat packs/hot water bottle
- Pads/Tampons/Cup

Of course, it is much encouraged to have ongoing body-positive conversations with your children from their first questions. Let them know when you are menstruating, and discuss products in commercials and the shopping center isles. Remove the layers of shame one by one.

For more information on teens and menstruation, check out A Mighty Girl's list of recommended readings.

Day 23 - Decision

"If you don't make a decision, that's the same thing as deciding that everything shall remain the same."

Receiving a message last night that the person does want to proceed with working with my art definitely concreted my intention to 'draw more,' and 'get to know dinosaurs'.

I also have been made aware that a small tablet is available for purchase at Aldi on Wednesday, that would be an excellent addition to start creating finished images digitally.

Day 22 - Make Colours Not War

This morning's adventuring took me to browsing the local mall, one of which was a bookshop. I did my usual rounds of the Arts, Animals, Religion, Humour, Self-care, Parenting. As a means of self-preservation, I turned all the titles indicating sleep training to face the back before I went into rage.

It seems that becoming a parent has made me appreciate quality of sleep over counting hours.

On the way out I took note of the colouring in books. It has become a very popular activity over this year. So vast is their selection they have an entire section dedicated to the publications. They had the 'specialty shelf' of the new publications, in front of the standard shelf. Down the bottom of the section over were some more books that didn't fit.

Colouring in books were invading the Military section.

I smiled that 'mindful colouring' were overtaking war history and weaponry reference.

Perhaps that is the way to world peace, if we all invested more in mindfully adding colour to our lives instead of hurting each other.